SELF CONTROL - WAITING FOR A DELAYED GRATIFICATION

Atmanam rathinam viddhi Sariram rathmeva tu,

buddhim tu saradhim viddhi manah pragrahameva cha ll

Indriyani hayanahuh vishayamsteshyu gocharan,

atmendriya manoyuktam bhoktetyahur maneeshinah ll

---Kattha Upanishad  (3/3-4)

(The body is the Chariot and the Soul is it's owner (charioteer); the intellect is it's driver; the mind is it's reins; the sense organs are the horses pulling the chariot; the objects of taste, smell, touch and others are the path).   In this way, the Atma (Soul) only uses indriyas (the sense organs) and antahkaranas (inner conscience or manifest mind) as a means to enjoy worldly pleasures. 

Now if one looks at the above slokas with some insight, it is clear to perceive that well trained horses (sense organs) will reach the destination, without much anguish to the higher ups namely mind and intellect.  Here is the hitch.  What is meant by 'well trained' is well groomed, rigorously practised attribute which becomes one's innate nature namely, 'Self Control.'

When one knows what is good and what is bad and restrains from the bad and sticks to the good how much hard the ordeal might be - it's 'self control'. This becomes a 'delayed gratification' for a spiritual seeker because, the moksha (liberation) is  the ultimate goal or 'gratification'  for him and the term 'delayed ' signifies the arduous and relentless journey taken up, sacrificing all worldly pleasures zealously.

In this connection, let's have a brief recounting of the most popular "Marshmallow Experiment" by the Stanford Professor, Walter Mischel.  A few hundred children of the age group of 4-5 were chosen. Each child was individually called into a room, made to sit before a table on which a marshmallow was placed.  The child was offered a deal by the researcher, that if the child waited for a few minutes during which time the researcher would go out and come back, the child would be granted two marshmallows for waiting, otherwise only one if he didn't wish to wait. And naturally most of the children agreed to wait for a few minutes and claim two sweets as gratification. The outcome of the experiment was astonishing.  Some children took the marshmallow and gulped, the moment the researcher left the room, some waited just for a while and surrendered to temptation to eat. Only very few  were found to be able to withstand temptation with one single thought in their mind, that their patient waiting was worth for getting better deal of two marshmallows and they got it. The surprising thing about the experiment was that when those few children who waited grew up, they became highly successful in their careers. The Marshmallow Experiment brought forth two vital traits in the successful children - 1) Waiting for gratification is worth it. 2) I have the capacity to wait!

Once we understand the necessity of inculcating such an important quality that is self control, 

waiting for delayed gratification, in  our children, the following short story would impress them well.

A piece of caution by Mahatna Gandhi is worth mentioning here. "Not to have control over the senses is like sailing in a rudderless ship, bound to break into pieces or coming into contact with the very first rock."

A sage was running an ashram with his disciples by the side of a river. One day one of the disciple approached him with a doubt.  "Guruji ! The spiritual knowledge you impart is same and impartial to all our disciples.  But how is that some make remarkable progress and some others lag behind in their sadhana (rigorous practice) ? "   Guruji asked him to bring two small earthen pots. When the disciple brought them Guruji made five small holes to one of the pot. Guruji leaving for the river bath  asked the disciple to follow him with the two pots.  After entering into the river knee deep, Guruji asked the disciple to place the pot with holes on the surface of the river.  As the water entered into the pot through the fives holes it slowly sank to the bottom of the river near them. Later Guruji asked his disciple to place the second pot without holes on the surface of the river. It gradually floated off to the other bank of the river.  Guruji explained thus, "See, The pot with holes  let in water from all sides and drowned here itself.  Whereas the pot without any holes floated on  water and reached the other bank.  Similarly, those who are slaves to their (open)senses are drowned in samsara bandha (material world) and those having control over their senses, shun them from the external worldly temptations, float safely and reach their destination, namely Mukti (the ultimate Liberation)."....

Finally, the success mantra whether it be in individual career or in pursuing the spiritual path of liberation,  is opting by the Self, for the 'pain of discipline ' over the 'ease of distraction' !

Om Shanti!